Charity Begins at Home
I need a strategy for dealing with charity muggers. They accost me on the street on a daily basis with their over-familiar false friendliness, hands outstretched as if greeting a long lost friend. My only tactic thus far is to duck my head, veer quickly to the left, and mumble “sorry, I’m in a hurry”. Keep moving, that’s the key.
I realise that this is having a detrimental effect on my enjoyment of the random encounters of the street. I have developed an instinctive self-defense mechanism such that I am taking constant evasive action against anything that appears in my line of sight that doesn’t display the characteristics of a disinterested window shopper. Street performers, tourists in need of directions, old ladies having heart attacks, drive-by shooting victims (no lie, one fell at my feet); all are equal victims in my bid to avoid the wrath of the chugger.
And these chuggers need a new strategy too. I’ll never sign up to whatever they’re selling if they keep up with the flailing arms and ‘hi there old friend’ routine. The same guy has hit on me four times in the last week and he still hasn’t got the message. If you want my time and money you’re going to have to make it worth my while. Show a little imagination. Give something back to the street instead of always leaching off the public space.
Mark Waters marked time at 9:40 pm on July 14th, 2008 .
